Sharpening the Focus on Trauma A few years ago, I decided to deliberately target and resolve traumatic memories early on in my client interventions, rather than waiting for them to arise. Doing so allowed me to deliver more complete results even more quickly than before. I have also learned to look for possible secondary gains […]

Traumatic Breakups and Infidelity Continuing with the last article’s theme of the impact of unresolved trauma on relationships, I share two additional client stories. Alana was a client who experienced a very traumatic breakup with a man with whom she had become infatuated and emotionally dependent upon. By the time we met, she had spent […]

It is common that a client may consciously forget a traumatic event from childhood, especially if it seems insignificant in retrospect. It is even more impressive when a seemingly forgettable experience contributes to major relationship issues. Jennifer was one such woman. Throughout her adult life, she suffered from a fear of abandonment and so sabotaged […]

As I revealed in previous articles, I have seen many clients with a variety of highly disruptive and limiting symptoms that developed in the wake of a traumatic event.  Mary is a young woman who sought my help to overcome insomnia. For the previous 4 years, she had not been able to fall asleep without […]

Secondary gain is a fascinating phenomenon that explains why people sabotage their goals, especially in health, relationships, and finances. As stated earlier, the primary objective of the subconscious mind is to avoid discomfort and realize pleasure, a drive that helps to account for self-defeating behaviors (such as smoking) and emotions (such as fear of public […]

In the previous piece, I gave an example of a client (Jane) whose emotional hunger contributed to her poor eating habits and weight gain. This time, I provide an even more extreme case study. Sexual Abuse and Obesity Anna was a 30-year-old woman whose significant obesity since age 18 was clearly rooted in emotional trauma. […]

Hungry for Love You may have heard the phrase, “It’s not what you’re eating, but what’s eating you.” I could recount numerous such client examples. A few years ago, a physician I know referred Jane, a 60-year-old woman who had been overweight for years and was in an unfulfilling marriage of 30 years. She had […]

In the previous post, I dismissed a long-held myth that events cause trauma when it’s the perception of those events that is ultimately responsible. Memories are the Key to Unlocking Trauma In recent years, neuroscience research has confirmed what skilled practitioners of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) have known for decades, which is that memories are imperfect […]

In my last post, I shared my firmly held opinion that trauma is the cause of many of our emotional and behavioral challenges. Events Don’t Cause Trauma – Perceptions Do It bears repeating that it is the belief, perception, or meaning that developed (the root) as a result of a past experience (the seed) that […]

In the previous post, I provided a useful metaphor for understanding the personal problems many of us have and why talk therapy often fails to get rid of the mental, emotional, or behavioral weeds that grow in the garden of our lives. Discovering the Underlying Roots In recent years, I have become thoroughly convinced that […]