February 2016 Newsletter
Are you a lover or an addict?
Might as well face it, you’re addicted to love.
On this Valentine’s Day, when the commercialization of love and romance reaches its climax, you may recall the famous lines from Robert Palmer’s 1986 hit song:
You like to think that you’re immune to the stuff, oh yeah.
It’s closer to the truth to say you can’t get enough.
You know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to love.
This is human nature. But is it really love that we’re addicted to, or is it something else?
Haven’t we all fallen “in love” with someone, lost touch with our rational thinking, and then found ourselves feeling like something’s missing when the object of our affection (read: infatuation) is absent or gone?
Haven’t we also found that we can think the world of that person one day, and then quickly feel resentment towards the same person when he or she or the relationship fails to live up to our (unrealistic) expectations?
This is the behavior of someone experiencing the highs and lows of an addiction, not someone in a balanced state of real love. As Dr. John Demartini (Author of “Heart of Love” and dozens of other excellent books, CDs, and DVDs) explains:
Love is a balanced orientation; it’s not an infatuation. Most people confuse love with infatuation and dopamine addiction, and that’s when they’re brokenhearted when there’s a loss, and they think that they’ve got a broken heart. It’s actually a broken addiction. True love allows a person to come and go and gives them the freedom to be who they are, not what you project onto them or expect from them.
Regardless of your relationship status, I ask you to consider…are you cultivating a practice of gratitude for everything about your past or current relationships (even those things you don’t like, because you appreciate how they benefited you)? If so, then congratulations! You’re in rare company.
Or are you, like many of us, 1) stuck processing the end of a past relationship, 2) riding an emotional roller coaster with your current one, or 3) limited by the fear of commitment or failure of a potential relationship?
If so, realize that you CAN transform grief, guilt, regret, resentment, and fear into real love and gratitude. We would love to help you, since we work with clients who face these issues every week. Feel free to contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
So to lovers and addicts alike, have a happy Valentine’s Day!
Todd Goodwin, M.S. BCH
Board Certified Hypnotist