Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.
First and foremost, it is important that we realize that letting go is a very natural process in our lives. Realizing that in order to make room for something in your life you have to sometimes let go of other things is all part of life. Everyone, no matter who they are , has had to go through the process of letting go at one point or another. It is something that some of us learn early on, while for others it comes later on, but regardless of when it happens know that it happens. You are not the first person to have to let go of something and you most certainly won’t be the last. To some it may seem unfair that we have to let go of anything, but consider this: imagine what it would be like if you never let go of anything.
Imagine being a grown-up is still walking around with your baby pacifier or your favorite baby blanket. Those are things that provide comfort as a child, but at one point you have to let go. At the time, it might have upset you and you might have had a hard time for a while, but eventually you moved on.The analogy may seem a bit dated , but the general idea of it can be applied to many different things in our life that we have had let go of at one point or another. The example given is of letting go of something physical, a material thing, but the same concept can be applied to our relationships, whether work or personal, and our thoughts.
A big part of letting go is recognizing when it is time to stay in
a situation and when it’s time to move on.
Once you come to the realization that life requires that you balance holding onto something and letting go of others, the next big step is recognizing just exactly what you should be letting go of and what you should hold on to. Sometimes it is easy for us to recognize what we should do, but that doesn’t make it any easier to do it. To this I say one thing: be honest with yourself. Really dig in deep and ask yourself whether or not the situation is one in which you are doing yourself more good than harm. If the situation, person or thoughts you have are negative and toxic than why would you want to allow them to continue to be a part of your life.
If this situation is one in which the problems just require a little bit more work to make it better, then I say go ahead and give it a shot. For instance, if you are trying to attain a goal but have not achieved it yet, then push forward and keep trying. Have you given it 100%? If not then do that. However, if the situation is one in which you are not the only component to it, but you are the only one putting in work, than it may be time for you to let go. This can apply to a working situation or a relationship, whether it be with a spouse/partner, a friend or even a family member. If you find yourself working while the other person involved sees no problem at all and hence puts in no work, then it may be time to let go.
Letting go is particularly hard for people when it involves a relationship because of the feelings attached to the relationship as well as the person. Here is the thing though: sometimes you have to let go so that a)you can learn to value yourself; and b) the other person can truly value what you have to offer. Sometimes it may be that the person involved never learns this and the relationship cannot be repaired. At the end of the day, however, you will find that you are better off because who wants to be with someone who does not value them.
Letting go is hard, but sometimes holding on is harder.
Whether we are talking about a relationship, a job or even a way of thinking, for many people letting go is one of the hardest things they can do because we become so attached to the person, the job or the way that we think that it becomes nearly impossible to imagine our lives without it. The hard truth of the matter though is that sometimes it is even harder to hold on. The fact is that although letting go hurts, being in a situation where you are undervalued, under appreciated or where you are surrounded by negativity will not only weigh on you a lot more then letting go, but it will also only continue to get worse with time.
Really think about that. If the situation you are in now causes you to feel uncomfortable or pain and hurt, sticking around and accepting it will only continue to reinforce whatever it is that is making you feel that way. Let’s say, for instance, you are in a job in which you are not respected or your work is not valued. Now let’s say that you have spoken to your superior about the way you feel and they have brushed you off. If you remain there, you know the situation will stay the same and you will only feel worse knowing that you brought it to their attention and it was completely disregarded. Now imagine what life will be going in to that job day in and day out feeling that way.
The same can be said for a relationship. If you have made your feelings clear and nothing has been done to resolve the problem or come to a compromise, then it’s highly likely that it won’t change and you’ll continue to feel the way you feel. If you walk away however, it will hurt, but eventually you will get over it and move on. Staying, without change, will only result in more pain.
People have hard time letting go of their suffering.
Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.
–Thich Nhat Hanh
How many times have you seen someone going through a difficult situation and thought to yourself, why do they do that to themselves? In your eyes, it is a situation that is obviously not good for them, but they continue to remain in it. You even find yourself thinking how you would never stay in such a situation. How could they be so blind to their own plight? Yet, the lack of action on the person’s part may have nothing at all to do with ignorance and everything to do with a simple four letter word: FEAR. The thing is quite often people cannot let go because they fear the unknown. The idea that what they are going through now may pale in comparison to what could happen keeps them rooted in a bad situation, relationship or even way of thinking.
Fear is one of the biggest reasons why people limit themselves. Their fear becomes so all-consuming that they see no other choice but to remain where they are. They will create scenarios in their heads of all the things that could possibly go wrong and that is what they will focus on. The truth, however, is that quite often the fear that they have is a lot worse than the actual outcomes they are imagining.If you find yourself in this position, don’t feel bad, we have all been there. As Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” The minute you realize this, is the minute that you stop allowing fear to make the choices for you and that you can make them instead based on what is truly right for you.
The hardest thing to do is letting go not because you
want to but because you have to…
As hard as letting go may be, if you’re letting go because you want to than it is a little easier than having to let go because you have to instead. You might have no problem letting go of a pair of shoes or a favorite pair of jeans because you want to make room for something new, but it is quite different story to have to let go of say a long-term relationship for instance, because it is no longer good for you. On some level, you may recognize that the relationship is toxic and unhealthy, but your emotions will cause you to stick it out and make it difficult to walk away. It is easy to see the difference between the two examples and how one is very visibly harder than the other.
In this situation is very important that you stop and you really take yourself into consideration. As hard as it might be, if the situation requires you to let go of something because you have to then you need to put yourself first. Letting go of someone, for instance, does not mean you do not care about that person. What it means is that you care about yourself a little bit more. This in no way makes you selfish, on the contrary, if you don’t care about yourself how can you truly care about anyone else. You have to remember to love and care for yourself first.
It’s time now to let go of the past and embrace all that awaits you.
So you have sat there, done some soul-searching, weighed the pros and the cons, and have come to the conclusion that you need to let go: now what? Now that you have come to that place where you’re ready to let go, you need to do so and truly embrace it. Let it all go and open yourself up to all that awaits you. Quite often our inability to let go of things is what hinders us from growing. We cannot see beyond what is in front of us, so we see no need to move forward or we are held back by the notion of fear. Once that fear has been overcome and the blindfold has been removed from your eyes, you are free to embrace the possibilities before you.
Instead of being afraid of the unknown, you should be excited. Think about it this way, it’s like cleaning out your closet and getting rid of all the old stuff that doesn’t fit anymore to make room for a great new wardrobe. You may not know what you are going to dil it with, but you know it will be something new that excites you. Understand that even though initially it may seem very hard to believe, by letting go of what is hindering you, you are opening the door for things that you may not even know you need to enter your life.
When you finally let go of the past something better comes along.
This is something that I always tell people simply because I know the truth of it myself. When you are finally able to fully let go of the past you will find that something better does come along. In the moment of letting go you may not realize it, but with time you will start to feel the weight being taken off of you. The negativity that was being produced by the situation, the relationship, the career or the thoughts that were a part of your life will no longer be there allowing you to feel lighter and better more and more every single day. You will find that your outlook on life changes and that you are more willing to not only try new things, but to also allow new experiences into your life.
There is a big difference between trying new things and allowing new things into our life. As you undergo the process of letting go and you learn to accept the things you can’t change, you’ll find yourself accepting of the idea that everything was for the best and believing it. This in turn permits you to open yourself up to the possibility of new things in your life. You will in effect begin to put the Law of Attraction in to play in your life without even being aware of it. When you starts feeling good about yourself and thinking in a more balanced way you are sending out a frequency that says, “Here I am Universe! I’m ready and willing to receive all the great things you have for me!” When you do that guess what happens: the universe responds by doing just that. because you are no longer bogged down by what you let go.
So although it may feel like letting go is the worst thing you could possibly do at times, it can actually be the best thing you ever do.