I’m pretty sure we’ve all noticed that when we are thinking positively positive things just start to manifest themselves around us. This is how the Law of Attraction works: what you put out, you get back. Positive things happen to people that stay positive. Conversely, negative things happen to people who surround themselves with negativity and negative thoughts. Whatsoever you reap, so shall ye sow. Its that simple…yet, there’s more to this equation that what meets the eye.
If you been following for awhile, then you’ve probably come to notice that I am a lover and proponent of all things positive. Yet, let me let you in on a little secret: Even for me, it’s hard to stay positive all the time. That seems kind of funny, doesn’t it? Here I am telling you guys to stay positive and I myself am not able to do at all times. However, there’s a reason for that: Being positive all the time is not a realistic goal.
Yes, you heard me right. Being positive 24 hours a day is not something that you can accomplish realistically. Don’t get me wrong…with time you will come to find that, if you chose to, you can become more positive. However, you will find that it is hard to keep your thoughts consistently positive. You’re reaching for a lofty goal that sounds very appealing, but very much like the perfect human, it doesn’t exist.
Sadly enough, being negative is a whole lot easier than being positive. Its very easy to just give in to negativity when everything around you is going wrong. It’s easier to blame everyone around you for what is going wrong in your life or to fall into a pit of self-blame where you feel you deserve all the horrible things that are happening then to try to rise above it all and think positively.
I’ll give you a quick analogy. Here’s a little personal note: I’ve dealt with adult acne for quite some time now, a lot of which is a result of stress. So what advice did I get? Try not to stress out too much and that way you won’t have break outs. That sounds nice and easy and it would be great if it weren’t for the fact that seeing my face breakout just produces, guess what, you got it: more stress. In a similar vein, when everything around you is going in a negative direction, its hard not to follow suit with our thoughts.
That being said I ask that you don’t allow yourself to get discouraged by this. I’m not telling you guys this so you can just throw in the towel and call it a day. I’m telling you guys this because I want you to know that if you’re in that yo-yo stage of positive and negative thoughts it’s okay…not only is it going to happen, but it’s completely normal. As much as you may want to be a guru of nothing but positive feelings and thoughts, realistically there needs to be a balance.
I was speaking with Todd Goodwin (Miami Hypnosis Center’s very own super hero hypnotherapist 😉 ) about staying positive and he brought up an excellent point. As much as it might seem contrary, negative thoughts as well as experiences have a role to play in our lives. I can imagine some of you just had a Scooby Doo huh moment. Here’s a scenario he presented me with that though extreme in nature, makes one see where some negativity is actually beneficial.
Imagine your standing on the ledge of a building’s rooftop. Now you have got it in your mind that you can jump and you will be perfectly fine. This, my friends, is a situation in which it is a good thing to have some negativity in your life. Those negative thoughts will be screaming out, “Holy cow, what are you thinking? There is no way you can do this! Give it up while you’re still ahead idiot!” That voice of doubt acts as great defense against doing something that may in fact cause you more harm than good.
Negativity can inspire and motivate one to work harder towards an objective, just as positivity can blind one to the underlying bad of a given situation. As we continued to talk, Todd gave me another way of looking at it. Imagine you are walking down a sidewalk. If you you spend your time looking at the ground constantly worried about a crack or rubbish, you miss out on the world around you. This can be seen as being akin to being negative all the time. On the other hand if you spend all your time with eyes raised towards the sky, you may fail to see and avoid a nasty little pile of dog poo on the sidewalk. However, if you walk looking straightforward and allow yourself from time to time to both glance up at the sky and down at the ground you are able to take in the world while also avoiding any pitfalls along the road.
Balance is not just a good idea, its necessary. What makes a big difference in making this balance possible is changing the way we perceive things. We are so caught up sometimes in the labels and what they represent (i.e. negative = all bad and positive =all good) that we forget that one does not exist independent of the other, but in fact are two sides of the same coin. In trying to be positive all the time, you may find that your inability to do so, may only lead you to fall to the other end of the spectrum out of frustration and disappointment.
So if you find yourself coming up short and having dips in your positive thoughts, don’t be too hard on yourself…as long as you don’t let yourself be pulled into the dumps you’ll be fine. When it comes to negative occurrences in my life I always try to remember that there’s always something to learn from our experiences. And that, my friends, is one of the things we need to keep in mind when we find ourselves in moments of negativity and darkness.
All of our experiences, good or bad, provide us with lessons that we can either chose to learn and grow from or we can continue to have to repeat them.
So I ask that opposed to setting a goal of being positive 24/7 you set the goal to be balanced. Be positive, but understand and know that the “negative” is also something that will be a part of your life and that enriches your life. Lose the labels and learn to live in a way that finds growth in EVERY experience.